Those Low-Class Women Are Giving You Gals A Bad Name

Sam and I have decided to blog about why you women don’t always get the respect you deserve and what a bad effect low-class women have on men’s attitudes toward the so-called fairer sex.

Besides, we haven’t gotten into trouble all week . . .

Here’s an example of what we mean by low-class women. We were strolling in the park this morning and saw this young woman walking toward us from the other direction. At first glance the young lady looked quite nice. She was slim and blonde and wearing a mini skirt – all good attributes. But as she came closer, we noticed her hair was kind of stringy and unkempt, her nose had a rather pronounced hook and she was a bit too thin for our tastes.

Okay, so at this point you gals are girding up your loins to yell, “sexist pigs,” and maybe you’re right, but for the most part the young lady was still fairly attractive and probably worth a second look. THEN she did it! She casually and expertly hocked a loogie that could have put any man to shame and whatever good things we had been thinking about her disappeared in a blob of gelatinous germ-ridden mucous. YUK! The effect was about as bad as a seagull pooping on our heads.

We know you women constantly wonder and complain about men being so low-class, but why does equal rights mean the tender gender has to hock loogies, have their bodies tattooed like circus freaks, and their lips, eyes, ears and other more – uh – personal areas pierced, and why do they think it’s okay to use the “F” word as commonly as they use the word “the”?

I know Aretha Franklin sang that song R-E-S-P-E-C-T, on your behalf ladies, but how do you expect to get it when you walk, talk and act like common gutter snipes? Is that really your idea of what being equal to men is all about? Ever heard that saying that a man likes his woman to be a virgin in public and a whore in the bedroom? Okay, that’s sexist, and possibly somewhat inappropriate, but most of us guys would like you gals to be more like Audrey Hepburn or Katherine Hepburn or Julie Andrews or Gwyneth Paltrow in public and less like Rosie O’Donnell or Ellen DeGeneres or some painted, cursing female version of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Dyeing your hair’s another thing. Bright red, blue and green are not natural colors.

I saw a woman at the grocery store the other day whose entire body was a tattoo work of art (?), whose hair was dyed bright red and who was wearing a nose ring. I can’t help wondering when I see someone like that what they are trying to tell the rest of us. “I have no respect for myself?” I feel sorry for those women.

We play the blame game a lot these days so maybe certain women don’t receive enough love and respect when they’re young from their fathers. Or they don’t get it from their mothers. Or both. Who knows?