Refuse to Be A Bully. Start By Not Bullying Yourself Dummy

Do you bully yourself? Do you assault yourself verbally, curse your own ineptitude, spank your nose with a rubber hose? I know I do. I think most people are prone to self abuse on occasion. That’s definitely not an “I’m okay, you’re okay” type scenario, but if you’re like me, nobody else is as hard on you as you. As Erma Bombeck once pointed out, “Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving.”

The thing I don’t understand is, I’m nearly perfect most of the time. But just let me temporarily lose my keys or forget to pick my meds up at the pharmacy (like I did yesterday) or start to take Sam for a walk and have to go back into the house to grab his leash, and I start bashing myself, usually with a few choice cuss words. Kathleen hates it when I cuss, but I mostly cuss at myself because I’m such a dunderhead.

I’ve thought about where the tendency to put myself down came from. I like to blame that on other people. One of my earliest memories is my grandmother and my mom scolding me that “big boys don’t cry” (or whine). But I’m part Italian. I have all these emotions!

I put myself down recently, because I ate too much pasta before going to bed and had heartburn all night. I put myself down because I pulled too many weeds in the garden and knocked my back out of whack. I put myself down because I tried to vacuum fir needles and crap off my backyard patio and now the vacuum is plugged up. I put myself down because as soon as a guy at the park introduced himself to me I walked off and forgot his name. I put myself down because if I have $10 in my pocket I’ll spend $11 and have to use my debit card and then I have more cash to blow and at the end of my money I have too much month left over. I put myself down because I forgot to fill Sam’s water dish. I put myself down because I say something stupid and hurtful to my wife. I put myself down because I don’t write with discipline like I think I need to (who can do 10 pages a day?). You get my drift right?

Here’s how Dr. WAYNE W. DYER, PH.D., internationally renowned author and speaker in the field of self-development, sometimes affectionately called the “father of motivation,” recommends combating self-negativity.

Practice positive self-talk. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Be kind to someone for no reason. Every day, spend at least a few minutes checking-in with your loved ones. Practice physical self-care. Practice emotional self-care. Every day, do one fun thing just for-the-fun-of-it! Find time for a hobby. Breathe! Put your worries aside—literally

My self-esteem comes from myself, Dr. Dyer says. (As a child of God, my worthiness is a given.)

I accept myself without complaint and without conditions. I take full responsibility for my life and what it is and is not. (I blame no one.) I do not choose to accept guilt into my life. (I live in the present moment.) I understand the importance of having harmony between my thoughts, my feelings, and my behavior. (This harmony translates into peace and contentment.) There is nothing your highest self wants more than peace. This peace makes you feel worthy of all of the richest blessings of the Universe, and when you radiate this out into the world, it is returned to you without fail.

Sounds good to me. I think I’ll dump the guilt and self-doubt right now. If I practice self love by eating a big piece of cheese cake and going shopping to buy something I’ll feel a lot better. I’m breathing! I’m breathing!