We said californium, not californication.
Californium is a radioactive metallic chemical element, the heaviest element to occur naturally on Earth (heavier elements can only be produced by synthesis) according to Wikipedia, our unimpeachably reliable source of information. A small article in our newspaper piqued our interest.
“The element (californium) was first made in 1950 at the University of California Radiation Laboratory in Berkeley by bombarding curium with alpha particles (helium-4 ions). Get that? For those of you who dream of the element chart to put you to sleep, the symbol for californium is Cf and its atomic number is 98. The element was named after the university and the state of California. Two crystalline forms of Californium exist under normal pressure: one above and one below 900 °C (1,650 °F). A third form exists at high pressure. Californium slowly tarnishes in air at room temperature. Compounds of californium are dominated by a chemical form of the element, designated californium (111) that can participate in three chemical bonds. The most stable of californium's twenty known isotopes is californium-251, which has a half-life of 898 years. This short half-life means the element is not found in significant quantities in the Earth's crust. Californium-252, with a half-life of about 2.64 years, is the most common isotope used and is produced at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory in the United States and the Research Institute of Atomic Reactors in Russia.” (Not in Iran as far as we know).
Fallout from atmospheric nuclear testing prior to 1980 reportedly contributed a small amount of californium to the environment (uh-oh). Californium isotopes with mass numbers 249, 252, 253, and 254 have been observed in the radioactive dust collected from the air after a nuclear explosion. Sam and I can’t help wondering if that fallout affected Californians more than previously thought.
Californium supposedly is most dangerous if taken into the body - ingesting contaminated food (like burritos maybe) or drinks (like margaritas) or by breathing air with suspended particles of the element. Californium-249 and californium-251 can cause tissue damage externally, through gamma ray emission. Ionizing radiation emitted by californium on bone and in the liver can cause cancer.
It probably is no accident that in 1971 when Washington’s (spelled Boeing’s) economy tanked for awhile that a couple of smarty pants real estate people put up a sign referring to the worker exodus that said, “Will the last person leaving Seattle turn out the lights.” – Probably trying to keep those 30-million-plus Californians from rushing in here to find more space. When I moved here from California in 1978, the first lesson I learned was not to reveal I’d come from California. Fortunately, I was able to fall back on the fact I was born in Oregon.
Californians are known for a lot of weirdness, possibly much of it due to californium exposure. Those folks down under (sorry Australia) are known for passing some wacky laws, for instance, such as the following:
California prison workers will no longer be allowed to have sex with inmates
You may only throw a Frisbee at the beach in Los Angeles County, CA with the lifeguard’s permission.
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk in Carmel (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor).
Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
Fortunately, Californians don’t come here in droves because living somewhere as rainy as Washington State makes them seriously depressed, because they have an incorrigible avocado habit and snow kinda’ freaks them out. On the other hand, if they get much thirstier down there, watch out!
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