Would You Rather Die Than Try to Lie to Spare Feelings?

Sam and I feel sorry for Andy Taylor; you know, the Mayberry Sheriff? On an episode we saw the other night poor Andy felt like he couldn’t tell the truth because he would hurt someone’s feelings. He had to eat three spaghetti dinners one night that he didn’t want to eat, because he didn’t want to tell the people who cooked those dinners that he’d previously eaten spaghetti at another person’s house. Even when he tried to reason with the various cooks that he wasn’t hungry they simply wouldn’t take no for an answer. They pushed, cajoled and got angry with Andy until he overstuffed himself and didn’t get a very good night’s sleep.

Barney fife, Opie and Sheriff Andy Taylor

At first I sort of commiserated with Andy, but then I got to thinking, “Buck up buddy” and say how you really feel? After all, you’re the sheriff, if anybody should be able to tell the truth you should. Whatever happened to, “The truth shall set you free?” But Andy was a nice guy, he didn’t want to hurt is friend’s feelings.

I believe whole heartedly in telling the truth, but too much of the time telling the truth can be a real problem. Early in my married life my wife had her hair done up in one of those “beehives” for a dance we were going to attend. When she came out of the beauty parlor – and I use the term beauty loosely – she asked me what I thought of her new do. Well, I hemmed and hawed around saying, “It looks good. It’s fine. If you like it I like it,” and that sort of thing, all the time trying desperately to keep my facial expression from giving me away. But if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s a “good” liar. I finally blurted out that I hated the new hairdo and was treated to fits of crying the rest of the night.

I’ve also learned NEVER EVER to tell a woman her new jeans make her butt look fat. That new casserole her mother saw in a magazine – even if it tastes like cardboard - is goooood too. You betcha.

Perhaps the worst thing a person has to do in the truth telling department is confiding to a good friend or a teenager that something they’re doing or planning on doing isn’t good for them. One the one hand you may lose a friend. On the other hand, your teenager may go on one of those, “You hate me!” crying jags.

Why do we have to be so darned agreeable to avoid hurting someone’s feelings? I think the best way to avoid being disagreeable is to have ready excuses: “That movie wasn’t rated very high by the critics.” Or, “Gee spicy food upsets my stomach.” Or, “You’d probably have more fun at the mall if I didn’t go.”

Fair warning here now, Sam and I will know if you’re not liking our blog and are making excuses for not reading it. Excuses like, “I started reading it, but got called to do something else,” aren’t going to cut it. Neither is, “I never read blogs.” Aaarrrggghhh! If you don’t like our blog just say so.

See you later “unfriend.”