In 2015 I'll Eat Less Cake - Maybe. I'm Thinking About It.

Sam and I don’t generally commit to New Year’s resolutions (well, I don’t anyway). If I could commit to one on behalf of Sam it would be that he resolved to bark less in 2015. He’s not yappy like a lot of dogs, but if he sees people or animals outside the house he goes a little hysterical. I could do with less of that. When I’m half asleep at my computer or on the couch and he suddenly starts barking he scares the bejabbers out of me.

As for myself, I know there are many resolutions I should make - I should give up saying “should” for one thing. Seriously though, I should give up eating so much. I’m gaining weight again and I hate that. I was thinking this morning about that nasty French broad Marie Antoinette who said, “Let them eat cake.” She had her head lopped off at the guillotine for mouthing that faux pas and I’m thinking maybe the threat of the guillotine might help deter me. Although I seriously doubt it.

I had this dream last night about a guy going into a restaurant and ordering a piece of cake. A hungry street person sat down at the guy’s table before he could start eating and warned the guy that the cake might be laced with poison. The guy decided not to eat the cake and left the restaurant, so when he left, the hungry street person greedily gobbled it up. After a few bites the street person started to choke and sputter. His face contorted, his body convulsed and he fell off his chair totally dead. As people gathered around the street person who had just died, a cook in the kitchen smiled broadly. The street person had mistakenly eaten the poisoned cake intended for the other guy, but the cook just said to himself, “Oops.”

If I made resolutions for 2015, one of them would be to learn a foreign language. I know a smattering of French and can say some Spanish words, but with the West Coast rapidly becoming South America del Norte, I should probably learn a few more words than cerveza frio or frijoles caliente or how to count to ten. I started taking a Spanish class a few years ago, but dropped out when I moved out of town.

Another thing I’ve thought I should do (for many years now) is learn how to pray the rosary. I have a beautiful one I bought at a Roman Catholic Church bazaar, but have never applied myself how to use it.

What else? Well, I should work harder at my writing. I’m pretty good at making sure I meet my self-imposed deadline for posting installments of my blog (Mondays and Thursdays), but I don’t write 10 pages a day of my books like some authors say they do. Most days I’m lucky if I write 10 paragraphs. I’ve always been a little slow, you see.

Anyway, I guess you get my drift about making resolutions. I don’t generally make shopping lists or anything like that either. I’d rather rely on my memory.

So, what was I talking about?