1. First of all, of course, you don’t’ make lists. You’re sure you can remember everything you have to do today. And who needs a shopping list? If you forget to buy cereal for your kid’s breakfast, just break out that box of mac n’ cheese.
2. You don’t withdraw enough money from your bank ATM when you go shopping, you just use your debit card wherever you go. Even though that increases your risk of identity theft, you know if you have $40 “fast cash” in your hands you’ll spend it whether you intended to or not. Thus, even if you lose your identity, at least you save money.
3. You hate thinking about estate and retirement planning and long-range care in case you wind up in a nursing home. The biggest challenge to your fiscal acumen is deciding whether to spend $200 a month on cable or satellite TV because you’ll get all those sports channels plus more movie channels than you can ever watch, plus all those shopping and news channels.
4. You don’t make your bed in the morning when you first get up. Instead of making your bed you decide it’s way easier to throw the sheets in the wash so you won’t have to make the bed until later. When you’re ready to go to bed you realize you forgot to put the sheets in the dryer. As you’re falling asleep on the bare mattress you remember you have spare sheets in the linen closet. Voila!
5. You don’t plan dinner far enough in advance to take anything out of the freezer. That way you either have to go to Plan B, which is take-out a box of mac n’ cheese, pop a couple Weight-Watcher meals in the microwave or eat some of your kids’ cold cereal.
6. You’re always forgetting to write a check for tithing at church in advance of actually showing up there, which leaves you in a quandary when the collection plate comes around – to put that $20 bill you stashed deep in your wallet into the plate or to pretend you don’t have any money. Hey. Only God knows right? Besides, you would be glad to give the $20 if you could reach into the collection plate and take out $10 or $15 change.
7. Whoa! We’re at 7 already. (This one’s mostly for guys). You refuse to ask directions when driving someplace new until your wife has nagged you to death, then you stop at a mini-mart run by either an Oriental person, Mexican or Arab and you become even more lost when following their directions.
8. Oops! One more. You don’t want to take responsibility for anything. You avoid responsibility like Ebola. Don’t touch it, don’t breathe it and for God’s sake don’t associate with anyone who has a habit of taking responsibility – it could rub off on you. Next thing you know you’ll be in charge of something. And, you don’t count so good!
2. You don’t withdraw enough money from your bank ATM when you go shopping, you just use your debit card wherever you go. Even though that increases your risk of identity theft, you know if you have $40 “fast cash” in your hands you’ll spend it whether you intended to or not. Thus, even if you lose your identity, at least you save money.
3. You hate thinking about estate and retirement planning and long-range care in case you wind up in a nursing home. The biggest challenge to your fiscal acumen is deciding whether to spend $200 a month on cable or satellite TV because you’ll get all those sports channels plus more movie channels than you can ever watch, plus all those shopping and news channels.
4. You don’t make your bed in the morning when you first get up. Instead of making your bed you decide it’s way easier to throw the sheets in the wash so you won’t have to make the bed until later. When you’re ready to go to bed you realize you forgot to put the sheets in the dryer. As you’re falling asleep on the bare mattress you remember you have spare sheets in the linen closet. Voila!
5. You don’t plan dinner far enough in advance to take anything out of the freezer. That way you either have to go to Plan B, which is take-out a box of mac n’ cheese, pop a couple Weight-Watcher meals in the microwave or eat some of your kids’ cold cereal.
6. You’re always forgetting to write a check for tithing at church in advance of actually showing up there, which leaves you in a quandary when the collection plate comes around – to put that $20 bill you stashed deep in your wallet into the plate or to pretend you don’t have any money. Hey. Only God knows right? Besides, you would be glad to give the $20 if you could reach into the collection plate and take out $10 or $15 change.
7. Whoa! We’re at 7 already. (This one’s mostly for guys). You refuse to ask directions when driving someplace new until your wife has nagged you to death, then you stop at a mini-mart run by either an Oriental person, Mexican or Arab and you become even more lost when following their directions.
8. Oops! One more. You don’t want to take responsibility for anything. You avoid responsibility like Ebola. Don’t touch it, don’t breathe it and for God’s sake don’t associate with anyone who has a habit of taking responsibility – it could rub off on you. Next thing you know you’ll be in charge of something. And, you don’t count so good!
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