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| A vampire doughnut eater |
According to a New York Times article written by Pam Belluck, “A doughnut created in a lab and made out of silk on the outside and collagen (gel) where the jelly ought to be can mimic the basic function of brain tissue, scientists have found.”
That’s a scientific finding?! Shoot, Sam and I could have told the scientists that. My brain has been functioning like a big chocolate (raised) doughnut for years. I don’t have a jelly doughnut brain because if I got to thinking too hard some of the jelly might squooze out my ears. Icky sticky. Know what I mean? Besides, as many women already know, men tend to think with something besides their brains, although hemorrhoids sufferers seem to think best when they’re seated on a plastic doughnut while seated on the throne and reading the sports page.
Can you segue with me now and talk about falling in love? Don’t worry, I’ll (attempt to) tie this all together.
Many of my friends have mentioned this week that they will be attending various county fairs. I love county fairs and my brain turns into a jelly doughnut each time I wax nostalgic about one, because it was at the Humboldt County Fair my junior year in high school that I realized I had fallen in love.
I had begun walking a certain female classmate to classes the latter part of my sophomore year, carrying her books and all that, then summer break came and I didn’t see her again until just before the next school year started. I was riding atop the Ferris wheel – I always got stuck up there! – when I saw her and one of her girlfriends walking down below. I’ll never forget that she was wearing pink tennis shoes. All of a sudden I realized I was in love with that girl and wanted to “go steady” with her. As soon as school started again I began my quest and at the Junior Prom I asked her to wear my ring and she said yes. I think my whole body turned into a jelly doughnut about that time. The rest of my junior and senior years were total bliss. If you’ve been there you know what I mean. We couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. Then, after graduation, she left me – moved out of state.
The next summer, when I attended the county fair by myself, Bobby Vinton’s song Blue On Blue was playing over the loudspeakers. Remember that song? “Blue on blue. Heartache on heartache. And I find I can’t get over loving you.” My jelly just squoozed out all over the place. I have never been the same since and I now prefer chocolate raised doughnuts.
But getting back to the scientific doughnut brain, Belluck’s article goes on to say that scientists have found that their brain can mimic the basic function of brain tissue and they have even been able to produce “a kind of rudimentary gray matter in one dish and white matter in another.”
Here’s a problem though. Apparently the gray matter and the white matter have been signaling each other. I’m not making this up
Oh crikey! You can just see the unrequited love tragedy coming. What if the two matters are separated and one or both wind up in a trash bin somewhere?
Blue on blue!
That’s a scientific finding?! Shoot, Sam and I could have told the scientists that. My brain has been functioning like a big chocolate (raised) doughnut for years. I don’t have a jelly doughnut brain because if I got to thinking too hard some of the jelly might squooze out my ears. Icky sticky. Know what I mean? Besides, as many women already know, men tend to think with something besides their brains, although hemorrhoids sufferers seem to think best when they’re seated on a plastic doughnut while seated on the throne and reading the sports page.
Can you segue with me now and talk about falling in love? Don’t worry, I’ll (attempt to) tie this all together.
Many of my friends have mentioned this week that they will be attending various county fairs. I love county fairs and my brain turns into a jelly doughnut each time I wax nostalgic about one, because it was at the Humboldt County Fair my junior year in high school that I realized I had fallen in love.
I had begun walking a certain female classmate to classes the latter part of my sophomore year, carrying her books and all that, then summer break came and I didn’t see her again until just before the next school year started. I was riding atop the Ferris wheel – I always got stuck up there! – when I saw her and one of her girlfriends walking down below. I’ll never forget that she was wearing pink tennis shoes. All of a sudden I realized I was in love with that girl and wanted to “go steady” with her. As soon as school started again I began my quest and at the Junior Prom I asked her to wear my ring and she said yes. I think my whole body turned into a jelly doughnut about that time. The rest of my junior and senior years were total bliss. If you’ve been there you know what I mean. We couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. Then, after graduation, she left me – moved out of state.
The next summer, when I attended the county fair by myself, Bobby Vinton’s song Blue On Blue was playing over the loudspeakers. Remember that song? “Blue on blue. Heartache on heartache. And I find I can’t get over loving you.” My jelly just squoozed out all over the place. I have never been the same since and I now prefer chocolate raised doughnuts.
But getting back to the scientific doughnut brain, Belluck’s article goes on to say that scientists have found that their brain can mimic the basic function of brain tissue and they have even been able to produce “a kind of rudimentary gray matter in one dish and white matter in another.”
Here’s a problem though. Apparently the gray matter and the white matter have been signaling each other. I’m not making this up
Oh crikey! You can just see the unrequited love tragedy coming. What if the two matters are separated and one or both wind up in a trash bin somewhere?
Blue on blue!
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