Littering's Literally A Lousy, Lame Thing to Do Lunkheads

Listen here you littering lunkheads. I say listen here now!

Sam and I are going to talk to you about trashing our earth – as in don’t do it. Only you can prevent littering (we stole that line). Hardly anyone is more despicable than a lazy, no good-for-nothing never-do-well who throws trash out a car widow or fails to pack out camping or picnicking detritus. Possibly the worst litterers of all are smokers who throw their butts out their car windows rather than snuff them out in an ashtray. Of course, the ash tray probably is full of butts and the smoker is too dad-gummed lazy to empty the thing. You ever ridden in a smoker’s car? GAG!!

Littering is so bad in this country you can’t drive down the freeway anymore without seeing plastic bags full of somebody’s garbage stacked up like so many ersatz Christmas trees everywhere. That’s bad enough, but what really burns Sam and me is the fact that our strapped-for-cash highway departments have to ask for volunteers to pick up all the trash thrown out of people’s windows. Sam and I will just be damned if we’re going to pick up other people’s trash. Not gonna’ happen. 

I was interested in a recent newspaper notice that said Mount Rainier National Park was looking for volunteers and I was kind of excited about the idea of helping out there until I noticed what they were really looking for was volunteers to pick trash up off trails. It’s hard to believe people actually trash our pristine outdoors areas but they do. Have you ever read about all the trash left behind by climbing expeditions on Mt. Everest? Tons of garbage! It’s despicable. And the garbage on Everest is multiplied by how much garbage on other mountains? It would stagger you to know.

Mt. Everest Trash

We’re all supposed to be so environmentally friendly these days, but it seems to Sam and I that too many people interpret environmentally friendly as saving some poor whale that has beached itself because it’s time to die (and we won’t let it). How about all the fish we kill with discarded plastic bottle or can holders? And are you aware there’s a floating island of garbage - mostly plastic - out in the ocean (it’s called the Great Pacific Garbage Patch) and it;s approximately the size of Texas.We humans produce so much garbage every day, in many third-world countries poor people eke out a living gleaning junk from huge dumps and they stave off their hunger by eating rotting food wasted by the rest of us, much of it tossed out our car windows.

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch

Sam and I could rant on, but we hope you get the picture. DON’T litter!

I have to confess now that one of the tickets I most enjoyed writing as a police officer was for littering. I detested littering, but I was always amazed at how many people thought it was no big deal. I’ll never forget the time I made a business guy in a nice suit climb down a wet, muddy bank to retrieve a soda pop can he’d tossed out his car window. 

 Now that was a GOTCHA!