Do We Need A New Med School to Pump Out More Docs?

Is there a doctor in the house? In your house? Might as well be. Doctors are becoming as numerous as Starbucks coffee shops ‘cause it seems like there’s one on every corner. And now, according to report I saw on KOMO news, Washington State University wants to open a medical school to pump out more MDs and OBGYNs ad Oncologists and Podiatrists and the like.

The KOMO report - quoting an Associated Press report - said, “Medical officials predict an aging population and expanded health coverage under the Affordable Care Act will contribute to doctor shortages across the nation. Washington State University has begun exploring the feasibility of opening a medical school on its Spokane campus.”

Good grief! Pretty soon we’ll have so dang many doctors there will be as many of them as there are attorneys and cockroaches. We can’t have that! I don’t know if there’s a street in Olympia that doesn’t have a doctor’s office or medical facility of some kind already. Pretty soon there will be so many doctors we can have one in every household. Maybe one of our next presidential candidates should campaign with the slogan, “A doctor in every house.”

If you think about it though, it might make sense to have a doctor in your own home. It might help reduce the overhead of helping him or her pay office rent and nurses and equipment and so on. Our government could even pay us a stipend to help defray the costs of having our own personal sawbones. Maybe your doctor would bring a cute nurse roommate with him (or her), but I guess we shouldn’t go there eh?

Imagine you have a doctor living with you. First thing you’d notice, despite the obvious convenience, is that he would always be late - late for dinner, late to go grocery shopping, late to take the kids to soccer practice. Then, she (equal rights, eh?) would upset your morning breakfast routine. “Is that toast gluten free? Do you know how much fat’s in that bacon and how much cholesterol is in those eggs? And, don’t even think about dumping all that sugary syrup on those pancakes. As long as I’m in this house you are going to eat healthy.” How about when you go to fry up a hamburger? “Did you sanitize that cutting board after you filleted that salmon last night?” GROAN.

I imagine my personal Doc would nag me to exercise too much. “Get off that couch and go ride your bike.” And what if she didn’t take kindly to Sam?. “That dog stinks! He needs a bath. Have you wormed him lately? Does he need a flea treatment?” Sam might need a flee treatment - as in, “Get me the heck outa’ here!” Bite him in the butt Sam. G-r-r-r.

And speaking of butts, I can just imagine what’s going to happen to old docky poo when Kathleen asks if her jeans make her butt look too big. Oh my!

Would it be considered medical malpractice to evict a doctor from your home? Just wondering.